Over the last couple months, I have only been able to attend a handful of the IHOPU Awakening meetings, but each time I have been able to go, the Lord has significantly encountered me, and I have felt more and more awakened to His love and heart for me. He has been freeing me from so many unnecessary burdens and expectations that I had been feeling as a first-time mom.
I had been struggling with exhaustion from Noah’s newborn feeding schedule, guilt in my heart for not always wanting to and loneliness after our families went back to California and Thai returned to work. But in January, the Lord began to pull on those parts of my heart.
One evening at the Awakening, a friend began to pray for a new understanding of God’s love for me, as my Father — a loving caring Daddy. This touched me deeply and left me in tears as the Lord was taking away the loneliness and overwhelming sense that I was on my own.
Another night during worship, I sensed the Lord invite me to the area in front of the stage where people were receiving prayer. Distracted by Noah, I missed what the prayer focus was and felt unsure about going forward. But the Lord prompted my heart again, and I finally handed Noah to Thai and went forward to get prayer. Kneeling down, I began confessing my great need for Him to empower me to be the wife and mom He designed me to be. I asked Him for fresh joy and grace to empower me as I prayed Nehemiah 8:10, that His joy would be my strength, and Psalm 51:12, that He would restore the joy of His salvation in my heart.
At that moment, the prayer leader walked back on stage announcing, “Moms! All of the moms here come forward. Gather around these moms and pray for them.” I laughed to myself. Different people began to come around me and pray for renewed joy to be my strength and grace to cover my soul. This so touched me, as I knew the Holy Spirit was leading them to pray for what I had been asking of Him. After more time of prayer and tears of joy, I finally spoke, “Lord, thank you. I am so glad that you see me. You actually see me.”
-angela-
